When Commercial Breaks Were Half the Entertainment
The 70s gave us TV commercials starring finicky children, lonely repairmen, talking margarine, singing soft drinks, and one surprisingly aggressive suitcase-testing gorilla. These advertisements were repeated so often that Baby Boomers can easily still recite them decades later.
How many came rushing back before you even finished reading the title?
Screenshot from 1970 Charmin TV Commercial, Procter & Gamble
#30: Chuck Wagon Dog Food — The Tiny Wagon Chase
Chuck Wagon commercials sent a miniature horse-drawn wagon racing through an ordinary family kitchen while an excited dog chased after it. The tiny vehicle would disappear into a cabinet or under a counter, leaving the dog thoroughly confused. Apparently, nothing sold dog food quite like convincing pets that dinner had escaped in a covered wagon.
Screenshot from Chuck Wagon Dog Food 'Wagon Chase', Ralston Purina Company (1975), Enhanced
#29: Sanka Coffee — Robert Young Has a Heart-to-Heart
Robert Young traded his television-doctor authority for coffee advice in Sanka commercials, reassuring viewers that they could enjoy coffee without all the caffeine. His calm delivery made switching brands sound less like grocery shopping and more like following medical orders. If Marcus Welby recommended it, millions of viewers were ready to put the kettle on.
Screenshot from Sanka “Heart-to-Heart”, Young & Rubicam (1978)
#28: Enjoli — The “Eight-Hour Perfume”
Enjoli’s 1978 commercial presented a woman who could work, cook, care for her family, and remain glamorous without breaking a sweat. The catchy song promised an “eight-hour perfume for the 24-hour woman.” Today, the commercial mostly makes viewers wonder why nobody else in that household appeared capable of frying an egg.
Screenshot from Enjoli Perfume 'I'm A Woman' Commercial, Charles of the Ritz (1979), Enhanced
#27: Nair — “Who Wears Short Shorts?”
Nair borrowed the familiar “Short Shorts” melody for commercials featuring women confidently showing off smooth legs. The endlessly repeated question, “Who wears short shorts?” made the product practically impossible to forget. The advertisements were sunny, energetic, and determined to make every woman believe that leg hair was the only thing standing between her and a beach party.
Screenshot from Nair ‘Who Wears Short Shorts?’, Ted Bates (1972)
#26: Kool-Aid — The Kool-Aid Man Breaks Through
The Kool-Aid Man became a live-action advertising character during the 1970s, bursting through walls after thirsty children called for help. His booming “Oh, yeah!” was more memorable than anything the children said. Nobody ever asked who paid for the destroyed walls, but apparently fruit-flavored drinks came with a surprisingly large home-repair budget.
Screenshot from Kool-Aid - ‘Bank Robbers’, Grey Advertising (1978), Enhanced
#25: Tootsie Pop — “How Many Licks?”
A curious boy asked several animals how many licks it took to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop before finally consulting a scholarly owl. The owl made it to three and then crunched the candy. Created at the end of the 1960s and widely aired throughout the 1970s, the commercial proved that academic credentials meant very little around chocolate-filled candy.
Screenshot from Tootsie Pop ‘How Many Licks?’, Doner (1970)
#24: Shake ’n Bake — “And I Helped!”
Shake ’n Bake commercials usually featured a mother preparing chicken with help from an enthusiastic child. The youngster’s proud declaration, “And I helped!” became the part everyone remembered. The coating mix promised an easy family dinner, while the commercial gave children everywhere permission to claim equal credit after shaking one plastic bag.
Screenshot from Shake 'N Bake, Ogilvy & Mather (1976), Enhanced
#23: Wisk — “Ring Around the Collar”
Wisk spent much of the 1970s warning Americans about the social disaster known as “ring around the collar.” Commercials showed embarrassed wives discovering stubborn stains on their husbands’ shirts while an accusing chorus repeated the phrase. Few laundry problems have ever received such dramatic treatment, especially one located where neckties usually covered the evidence.
Screenshot from Wisk ‘Ring Around The Collar!’, BBDO (1979), Enhanced
#22: Chiffon Margarine — “It’s Not Nice to Fool Mother Nature”
Actress Dena Dietrich played Mother Nature in Chiffon commercials, happily mistaking the margarine for butter. Once corrected, she responded with the ominous warning, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” followed by thunder and lightning. It was an impressively dramatic reaction to sandwich spread and suggested that breakfast choices could disrupt the entire weather system.
#21: Parkay — The Talking Margarine Tub
In these wonderfully odd commercials, someone would insist that Parkay was butter, only for the container itself to reply, “Parkay.” The argument continued until the human finally tasted it. A talking tub of margarine should have raised considerably more questions, but viewers simply accepted that refrigerated foods had become argumentative during the 1970s.
Carl Lender, Wikimedia Commons
#20: Palmolive — “You’re Soaking in It”
Manicurist Madge listened patiently while customers complained about dishwashing liquid damaging their hands. She would then reveal that their fingers were already soaking in Palmolive. Actress Jan Miner played Madge for decades, and her calm delivery made the surprise work every time. Apparently, nobody noticed the bright green liquid surrounding both hands.
Screenshot from Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid ‘Madge the Manicurist’, Ted Bates (1976), Enhanced
#19: Charmin — “Please Don’t Squeeze the Charmin”
Mr. Whipple spent years begging supermarket customers not to squeeze the Charmin, despite seeming strangely obsessed with squeezing it himself. Actor Dick Wilson turned the fussy grocer into one of television advertising’s most recognizable figures. The campaign began before the 1970s, but constant airings during the decade made toilet paper inspection look like a major retail emergency.
Screenshot from Charmin 'Whipple & Waldo', Benton & Bowles (1970s), Enhanced
#18: Maytag — The Loneliest Repairman in Town
Jesse White played the original Maytag Repairman, a service technician with almost nothing to do because the company’s appliances supposedly never broke. His lonely office and silent telephone turned reliability into a running joke. It was clever advertising, although actual repair workers probably wondered why unemployment was being presented as such a cheerful career achievement.
Screenshot from Maytag ‘The Loneliest Repairman in Town’, Leo Burnett (1978), Enhanced
#17: Noxzema — Joe Namath Gets “Creamed”
Football star Joe Namath appeared in a cheeky 1973 Noxzema shaving-cream commercial featuring a young Farrah Fawcett. The flirtatious spot encouraged viewers to “let Noxzema cream your face.” It was playful, suggestive, and difficult to imagine airing during a modern football broadcast without immediately becoming the subject of several thousand online arguments.
Screenshot from Noxzema ‘Cream Your Face’, William Esty Company (1973), Enhanced
#16: American Tourister — The Gorilla Versus the Suitcase
American Tourister demonstrated the durability of its luggage by placing a suitcase inside a cage with a gorilla. The animal threw, crushed, and stomped on it while the bag somehow survived. The famous “gorilla” was actually a performer in a costume, but the commercial still made airline baggage handlers look almost gentle by comparison.
#15: Memorex — “Is It Live, or Is It Memorex?”
Jazz legend Ella Fitzgerald demonstrated Memorex recording tape by hitting a note powerful enough to shatter a wine glass. A recording of her voice supposedly produced the same result, leading to the celebrated question, “Is it live, or is it Memorex?” It was a stylish way to sell blank tape and an expensive way to empty the glass cabinet.
Screenshot from Memorex ‘Is It Live, or Is It Memorex?’, Leo Burnett (1972), Enhanced
#14: Polaroid — James Garner and Mariette Hartley
James Garner and Mariette Hartley displayed such easy chemistry in Polaroid commercials that many viewers assumed they were married. Beginning in 1977, their playful bickering helped demonstrate the company’s instant cameras without making the product explanation feel tedious. The fictional relationship became nearly as famous as the photographs developing in their hands.
Screenshot from Polaroid 'OneStep' Camera, Doyle Dane Bernbach (DDB) (1979), Enhanced
#13: Kodak — “The Times of Your Life”
Kodak’s sentimental campaign featured Paul Anka’s song “Times of Your Life” over images of families, celebrations, and milestones. The music was released commercially after the advertisement made it popular. Kodak understood that it was not really selling film. It was selling the fear that your children might grow up before somebody remembered to load the camera.
Screenshot from Kodak ‘The Times of Your Life’, J. Walter Thompson (1977), Enhanced
#12: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups — Two Great Tastes Collide
Reese’s commercials repeatedly staged unlikely collisions between someone eating chocolate and someone carrying peanut butter. After the obligatory complaints, both people discovered that the combination tasted wonderful. The premise made no practical sense, since people rarely wander around eating peanut butter from an open jar, but it created one of advertising’s most durable product demonstrations.
#11: Alka-Seltzer — “I Can’t Believe I Ate the Whole Thing”
In this 1972 commercial, an uncomfortable man groaned, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing,” while his unimpressed wife corrected his pronunciation. The scene made indigestion funny and turned a simple complaint into a national catchphrase. For years afterward, anyone who overeaten could quote the line without mentioning Alka-Seltzer at all.
#10: Calgon — “Ancient Chinese Secret”
A customer marveled at the clean shirts produced by Mr. Lee’s laundry and asked how he did it. He credited an “ancient Chinese secret,” only for his wife to reveal that the real answer was Calgon water softener. The dated stereotypes have aged poorly, but the punchline became one of the decade’s most quoted advertising lines.
Screenshot from Calgon ‘Ancient Chinese Secret’, Ketchum Advertising (1972), Enhanced
#9: Miller Lite — “Tastes Great! Less Filling!”
Miller Lite gathered athletes and celebrities to argue over whether the beer’s greatest advantage was that it “tastes great” or was “less filling.” The mock debate became a cultural chant, especially at sporting events. Even people who never drank the product understood that choosing between the two answers was apparently impossible without yelling across a crowded room.
Screenshot from Miller Lite ‘Tastes Great! Less Filling!’, McCann-Erickson (1973), Enhanced
#8: Pepsi — The Pepsi Challenge
Beginning in 1975, Pepsi invited ordinary consumers to take blind taste tests comparing two unmarked colas. The commercials nearly always ended with delighted participants selecting Pepsi. The campaign turned drinking soda from tiny paper cups into a nationally televised competition and gave grocery shoppers the impression that choosing cola required the discipline of a laboratory experiment.
Screenshot from Pepsi - ‘Woodfield Challenge’, BBDO (1977), Enhanced
#7: Dr Pepper — “Be a Pepper”
Dr Pepper’s 1977 campaign featured singer David Naughton leading cheerful crowds through the infectious “I’m a Pepper” song. The commercials presented drinking Dr Pepper as membership in a rapidly growing, unusually musical community. Even viewers who preferred another soda could soon complete the line, “Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?”
Screenshot from Dr. Pepper ‘I'm a Pepper’, Young & Rubicam (1977), Enhanced
#6: Burger King — “Have It Your Way”
Burger King’s 1974 commercial invited customers to “hold the pickles, hold the lettuce” and customize their Whoppers. The singalong made special orders sound fun instead of inconvenient. It also created generations of customers who expected fast-food workers to happily rebuild an entire sandwich while a cheerful brass section played somewhere in the kitchen.
Screenshot from Burger King ‘Have It Your Way’, BBDO (1974), Enhanced
#5: McDonald’s — The Big Mac Ingredients
McDonald’s challenged customers to recite the Big Mac’s ingredients: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and a sesame-seed bun. The 1970s campaign turned a sandwich description into a memory test. Plenty of people eventually forgot important telephone numbers while retaining the complete architectural blueprint of a Big Mac.
Screenshot from McDonald's Big Mac Jingle Commercial, Needham Harper & Steers (1974), Enhanced
#4: Oscar Mayer — “My Bologna Has a First Name”
Four-year-old Andy Lambros sat on a dock with a fishing rod and sang the Oscar Mayer bologna song in the famous 1973 commercial. The jingle taught millions of viewers how to spell a word they otherwise had little reason to write. Teachers could only dream of producing a spelling lesson that effective with one sandwich.
Screenshot from Oscar Mayer ‘The Bologna Song’, J. Walter Thompson (1974), Enhanced
#3: Life Cereal — “Mikey Likes It!”
Two skeptical brothers decided to give Life cereal to their supposedly picky younger brother, Mikey. When he eagerly ate it, they shouted, “He likes it! Hey, Mikey!” The 1972 commercial ran for years and made John Gilchrist one of advertising’s best-known child performers, even though Mikey barely said a word.
Screenshot from Life Cereal ‘Mikey Likes It’, Doyle Dane Bernbach (1972), Enhanced
#2: Coca-Cola — “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke”
Coca-Cola’s 1971 “Hilltop” commercial gathered young people from around the world on an Italian hillside to sing about harmony. The hopeful song became so popular that it was rewritten and released as a commercial single. For one glowing minute, buying a bottle of soda appeared capable of solving nearly every international disagreement.
Screenshot from I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke Commercial, McCann-Erickson (1971)
#1: Coca-Cola — “Mean Joe Greene”
A young fan offered an exhausted “Mean” Joe Greene his Coke as the football star limped toward the locker room. Greene drank it, smiled, and tossed the boy his jersey. Filmed and first broadcast in 1979, the advertisement became even more famous after airing during the 1980 Super Bowl. Four words sealed its place in history: “Hey, kid. Catch!”
The Steelers / NFL, Wikimedia Commons
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